Guest Blog Post: Kelly Johnson | Edgewater Candles ATX | IG: @edgewatercandlesatx
Yes, that question was rhetorical. We’ve all had them, and they’re different for everyone. I once read a meme that said, “Did you really have a bad day, or did you have 10-20 minutes where you let your thoughts run undisciplined, which led you to a bad vibe that you let carry you away?”.
My Mindset
That right there made me feel – as the social media folk like to say – attacked. I was a restaurant manager for over 20 years, and it always seemed like the bad days were more plentiful than the good days. It took me to completely get out of that industry to realize that those days were only defined by my mindset. Some days went smoothly, everything I planned to do that day got done, and it mirrored the effortless downhill slope of a bike ride. Back in the day, that was just a day. Then, there were the days when a domino effect of really inconvenient situations made for constant pivoting, decision-making, and a few four-letter words in the mix.
That made the “bad day” list, and that list was longer than the line at the DMV. The number of days I declared “bad” wasn’t that bad. You know what they say – life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it. You, and only you, are in control of your energy and your feelings.
My Life
I’ve had a lot of excitement in my life. It’s been exciting good, exciting uncertainty, exciting challenging, and even exciting bad. A couple of quotes from people very close to me include, “How do you smile at all, Kelly? Your life is shit!” and “Kelly, you have this gray cloud that just follows you everywhere, and I don’t know how you even get up in the morning!”.
One of those came from my own mother. But when you look at my life, I take on a LOT. I own two businesses (down from three only because of that darn pandemic), I hold leadership positions in networking groups, I’m very involved in my daughter’s basketball career, and I rescue humans more than I rescue dogs.
The more you take on, the more challenges you face, leading to more decision-making and restructuring plans. In other words, a busy life requires flexibility. And during my restaurant career, flexible wasn’t a word I would use to describe myself when it came to my plans (and also my body). The minute something didn’t go as planned, my thoughts did exactly as that meme stated – ran undisciplined – and my day was ruined.
September 8, 2015
A day burned in my brain for eternity. My mom was in a horrible car accident, which rendered her in a coma for weeks, accompanied by a list of injuries that was longer than the one I tallied ‘bad days’ on. It was one of the hardest things I had to go through, and I reached out – mostly in tears – to anyone who would listen. I got the responses you would expect: sympathy, meals, help with my dogs, extra days off of work, etc.
But one of my dearest friends, Tommy, took a different approach. He capitalized on my vulnerable state to begin changing my mindset about life, and it shattered everything I thought I knew about ‘bad days.’ Our chats for the next several months encompassed focusing on the good in any situation, finding the silver lining, having gratitude, and so much more. It didn’t happen overnight, but gradually my outlook on life shifted, and the law of attraction ran wild. The more I focused on positivity, the fewer bad days I had.
Practicing Gratitude
Did that mean that nothing challenging ever happened? Of course not. But instead of the “well, there goes my good day” attitude, I viewed it simply as a speed bump that I had to cross and didn’t allow it to ruin my day. Even though an extremely tough 2021 filled with health issues that ran amuck between me and my daughter, I was grateful for every bit of it and continued to pivot – this time in taking care of my physical and financial existence like my life depended on it. Because, yes, my life depended on it.
Now, everything I’m telling you seems great in theory, but how do you put it into practice? It’s hard to change a mindset, so I have a to-do list for when I fight an uphill battle most of the day. When that not-so-perfect day comes to an end, the first thing I do is NOT drink a beer. I’m a beer connoisseur, and I used to numb the day’s challenges with a beer or two before bed. As anyone who has had dental work knows, that numbness goes away after a few hours, and you’ve just postponed the pain.
The second thing I do is throw gratitude into the universe for the challenges I faced that day. I list them individually, and while doing so, I shout out the silver linings for each one. Sometimes it’s a challenge to find the silver lining, but if I dig far enough, I can always find one. Then, if anyone came to my rescue that day, I give them a shout-out on social media or send them a follow-up gratitude text for how they helped me and how I value their existence in my life. Finally, I end with a general shout-out that goes, “thanks for the challenges because tomorrow will seem so much better by comparison!”.
Start small, and over time, those bad days become speed bumps that you won’t even think about 24 hours later. Don’t rob tomorrow’s energy and happiness for something that happened today.
